We all know the drill, New Year’s Eve rolls around once
again at lightning speed. Before we gather at those cozy house parties, waiting
for that gaudy crystal ball to drop, we’re raiding our closet, prepared to
dazzle everyone with our Sunday’s best. We’re not prepared however to get frost bites on our lady parts in the
process.
Never fear.
You can be a THOT and WARM this New Year’s Eve with these 4
simple and sneaky layering tricks.
DISCLAIMER: WE DON’T ACTUALLY CONDONE THE USE OF THE TERM
“THOT” BECAUSE IT’S DEMEANING TO WOMEN’S SEXUALITY AND OUTWARD EXPRESSION. NO
SLUT SHAMING FOLKS
1: Sheer Panty hose
Photo cred to: TimesUnion.com
If you really must show some succulent thigh, slip on some
sheer panty hose. Yup, sheer panty hose. Remember them, the kind your grandma
used to wear. Dust them suckers off from the back of the closet and make sure
your 6 inch pointed nails don’t put a run in them.
THOT plus: You appear to have lots of skin showing, plus
it’s fun for bae to peel them off when you’re christening the New Year.
WARM plus: Even though panty hose are such a thin material,
the tight weave really packs a punch against harsh winter winds.
2: Leggings on Leggings on Leggings aka Leggingception
Now we all know that pants are expressly forbidden in the
THOT creed in favor of sausage dresses and of course, the holy grail of all
that is THOT—the legging. But no one said you had to wear just one pair. Lots of stores have made it
their responsibility to make Leggings more THOT weather friendly adding
fleece-like materials inside of leggings to act as insulation.
THOT plus: You get to have your leggings and no one will
ever know your little secret that you’re actually
warm.
WARM plus: The key here is to create so many layers between your skin and the outside that you don’t
even feel the wind. Plus if someone sloshes their 40 oz on you, you probably
won’t even feel it till you leave the party (That’s doubles as a THOT bonus)
LOGIC plus: According to popular mathematicians, 2 pair of
leggings is equal to one pair of pants, so if you explain this to all the
haters giving you dirty looks at the party, I’m sure they’ll understand.
3: Ear Muffs
Three Words: Minimal Hair Flattening—because, let’s be
honest, you’re either rocking a glorified bun, sex hair or some mutation of
both and you wouldn’t want a burly hat ruining all the non-effort you put into
your tresses. Plus Ear Muffs are super cute.
THOT Plus: They’re kind of like winter’s version of animal
ears—and we all know how THOTS feel about animal ears (cough cough—just because
you’re wearing cat ears and a leotard doesn’t mean you’re a house cat—cough)
WARM plus: Your ears don’t turn blue… or fall off from frost
bite.
4: Gigantic Scarf
Because a THOT will never wear a coat… ever, this way you
can trick your body into a little extra body heat. Our advice, get a big fluffy
one that can also flip up over your mouth and ears just in case you didn’t take
our ear muff advice seriously… which you probably didn’t.
THOT Plus: Everyone knows that the fastest way to looking
instantly less like a basic bitch is to throw on a scarf. Studies show that
while you’re walking around town on your way to turn up, a scarf can act as
THOT camouflage to the untrained eye. Bonus points if you’re sporting fresh Starbucks.
Warm plus: The neck is actually very sensitive to
temperature especially cold, so it’s important to be proactive in keeping that
area warm… you didn’t think I was actually gonna spit knowledge on you were
you? Nah, you weren’t ready.
!!!THOT-TASTIC SELFIE BONUS!!!
Shirt: Rue21 (Men)
Leggings: Rue 21
Earrings: Dots
Hair: 20 in. Malaysian--sike, that's all mine!
HAPPY THOTING!
Let us know how warm you are, or send us some pics. We love getting pics!
If you liked our advice... or even if you hated it, write us a comment below the post and share with your friends
Also, if you liked this post, you'll love... and probably need after tonight--The Turn Up Survival Kit
