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Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Netpix--How Portia D. would tell the story

The largest Movie Poster Database on the web!

Here's how Portia D. sees the movies that you love...


Portia D. as Nena

Audience: For those who can handle very disturbing story lines.

Synopsis: An innocent girl slowly goes crazy because of a gas leak in her mother's appartment.

She begins to hallucinate about being a ballerina in Swan Lake, a lesbian, and even a murderer, until in her delusions she finally turns into an actual swan and kills herself... wait, isn't that what happened in Black Swan?

Our Rating: 5 out of 5 and you should have won an Oscar

Coming Soon: Breaking Dusk: The Twinight Saga: Rated PG13

LizBeth as Sadie. Derris Montgomery as Jack

Audience: For the really sappy and melodramatic

Synopsis: A very plain and boring girl gets knocked up by a really pale overprotective boy that she's deluded herself into thinking is a vampire.

Some other stuff happens. There's a really hot guy, literally, his skin's on fire. Long story short, every one lives happily ever after... forever, and we all want to barf repeated.

Our Rating: 2.9 out of 5

The Moleskin: An Epic Tale of Hipster Love: Rated R

Left to Right: Derris Montgomery, Portia D.

Audience: For the more sensitive type

Synopsis: This is just some real sad stuff. Two hipsters spot each other at a Vintage shop and instantly fall in love. Their epic love tale is written in a Moleskin so that the man can tell his wife their story, even though she will never remember. That's hipster irony.

Our Rating: 4.97 out of 5



Yvon Dion as The Don

Synopsis: Quite possibly the most boss soundtrack in the history of soundtracks.

Our Rating: 17 out of 5. Should have won an OSCAR! We are so pissed.


Photographers in order of appearance: Yvon Dion, Portia D., LizBeth, and Christopher Ott
Makeup: Poria D., Yvon Dion, LizBeth, Derris Montgomery
Makeup: Mac, Mary Kay, Neutrogena, Urban Decay, LA Colors

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