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Friday, August 26, 2011

RED! Behind the BullS#!t

So here's the real deal behind your favorite fairy tale characters--Wikipedia style, bitches!

as seen in this blog post: Red: Part 1 and 2

Red (age 19)

Portia D. as Red

Maleficent---aka Red (b. 1907) is a full fledged alcoholic and drug abuser, so much so that she can't remember the last 13 of her 19 years living. 

She lives with her cancer ridden Gran in The Infinite Forest. As far as she knows, her parents died when she was 6.

Cinderella (age 17)

LizBeth as Cinderella

Cinderella---aka Goldilocks (b. 1909) is known for getting her ass beaten on a regular by her stepmother, The Baroness Artemesia VanVexing. She's not technically allowed to eat at the house, unless it's leftover's at a party.

She suffers from OCD, curiosity, and crippling insecurity. Both of her parents died when she was 4.

Hansel (age 15)

Derris Montgomery as Hansel

Hansel--- (b. 1911) is the dumb as a brick twin brother to Gretel... that's it, really.

Gretel (age 15)

Yvon Dion as Gretel

Gretel--- (b. 1911) is a witch with the power of premonition (visions). She was starved and poisoned by her mother to keep her sick all her life.

At times she's a real smart ass, unlike her stupid ass brother Hansel.

The Wolf (age 43)

Portia D. as The Wolf

Dragonite Port Angelico--- aka The Wolf (b. 1883) is the ex-husband to the witch. He was turned into a wolf when he slept with Snow White 13 years ago. 

He's a straight up player and is also responsible for the death of the Three Little Pigs.

The Witch (age 38)

LizBeth as The Witch

Maleficent Misforzat--- aka The Witch (b. 1888) What can you say, she's very misunderstood. She had a horrible childhood and strove all her life to become Queen. Then some slutty 16 year old (Snow White) comes along and steels her man and her crown and you expect the witch not to kill her?

I don't know about you, but that's rude as shit.

The Bears

A family of thieves who got turned into bears 13 years ago when they fucked with the wrong one (The Witch).

Mama Bear (age 38)

Portia D. as Mama Bear

Henrietta--- aka Mama Bear (b. 1888) is the mastermind behind all of their thievery. She's straight up vicious.

Papa Bear (age 36)

Derris Montgomery as Papa Bear

Jonathan Edwards III---aka Papa Bear (b. 1890) is the one who's like "fuck it, we bears, let's eat human's and shit!"

Baby Bear (age 19)

Yvon Dion as Baby Bear

Michael--- aka Baby Bear (b. 1909) has been a master pickpocketer since he was 2. He has a little more compassion than his parents.

He's digging Cinderella.


Who else is in this freakin' story?

Well there's Rapunzel, Prince Charming, Snow White, Three Little Pigs, 7 Dwarves, The Woodsman, The Mirror Mirror on the Wall (known as The Mirror of Natasdrol) and many more probably.

Are you thinking, What the hell kind of story is this??? Well, this is where all this craziness came from: Red: Part 1 and 2

It'd be totally awesome if you left a comment, bro! Totally.

1 comment:

  1. So funny to make a photo shoot about some fairy personage !! Goods Pictures !!


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